Who Let The Dogs Out?

31 May

This morning when taking the Toddler to school, whilst driving through the neighborhood…

….as I am prone to do since I don’t own a helicopter…

….when suddenly…

…while doing a Scooby Doo head turn homage…

…both the Toddler and I notice two dogs on the sidewalk. The one dog was furiously trying to boink, get his groove on, bang, and/or release the red rocket on the other dog. “Humpy” as I will now call the dog,  was a wee  bit shorter then the other dog, and was having quite a bit of trouble mounting the purse.

But, god love him, he was trying and trying and trying…and he wasn’t going to give up. The dog on the receiving end, whom I will nickname, “Kim Kardashian” wasn’t exactly giving up the oyster easily.

She was probably expecting maybe dinner first…or since this was 8 in the morning…maybe breakfast first…

…maybe flowers…

…or maybe a romantic tick bath?

The Toddler looks at me…looks at the dogs…looks at me…screws up her forehead in the “I’m about to ask a question” face…and I think,

“Here it comes…how am I to explain what these dogs are doing to a 5 year without lying too much, yet without exactly telling the truth?”

When I hear from the Toddler’s mouth…in a very boisterous chant, and a bit of air fist pumping,


Some high deity just gave me a break.

Now I’m off to find out who let the Toddler watch Fight Club.


8 Responses to “Who Let The Dogs Out?”

  1. chrisdevoss May 31, 2012 at 3:25 PM #

    Your niece is very sophisticated!

  2. RFL May 31, 2012 at 4:17 PM #

    Your euphemisms are well placed and articulated…and really funny. Can’t wait for the questions to start, but I’m glad you caught a break on this one.

    • chrisdevoss May 31, 2012 at 6:38 PM #

      I dodge a bullet from the most inquisitive child ever!

  3. Kyle May 31, 2012 at 4:34 PM #

    thanks for the chuckle dude

    • chrisdevoss May 31, 2012 at 6:36 PM #

      I would high five you if there wasn’t a giant ocean between us.

  4. freddyflow May 31, 2012 at 4:56 PM #

    “Kim Kardashian”–I can see that dog perfectly…

    • chrisdevoss May 31, 2012 at 6:42 PM #

      It was quite an accurate nickname. 🙂

      • freddyflow May 31, 2012 at 9:27 PM #

        Bitch got back (so to speak)…

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