Big Girl Band Aids

16 May

The Toddler and I are in the car. The Toddler holds up a pink cell phone I had bought the Teenage Girl one Christmas.

Toddler: What is this?
Me: It’s a case I bought for Teenage Girl. It’s for her phone. I can’t believe she left it in the car.
The Toddler opens the cell phone case and pulls out a tampon.
Toddler: What is this?
Me: Oh…uh….It’s a band aid for big girls.
Toddler: Why is it a band aid for big girls? It’s a funny looking band aid.
Me: Yes it is. Can you put it back please, and let’s not speak of this to anyone.
Toddler: I want to wear a band aid for big girls.
Me: Oh, you can’t wear one yet. Your too small. It won’t fit.
Toddler: I’m not too small. It will fit. I want to put it on my arm.
Me: It doesn’t go on the arm. Can you put it away please.
Toddler: Then I’ll put it on my leg.
Me: It doesn’t go on the leg either. Can you please put it away.
Toddler: Then where does it go Daddy?
Me: Really?! Honey, it’s a band aid for a big girl’s who-who.
Toddler: (stares at me for a minute) Daddy your silly. You can’t put a band aid on your who-who, how will you potty?
Me: I don’t know! Just trust me. When your older you will need a band aid for your who-who, and you will be mean to your husband, and you’ll eat lots of chocolate, and sometimes you’ll cry for no reason. And if your husband is smart, once a month he will take a fishing trip and disappear for about 3 to 7 days. Now please just put it away.
Toddler: So this is a magical band aid!
Me: When your older…

The Toddler sings…

“When I’m older….when I’m older…I’ll have a magical band aid when I’m older….”

…all the way home.

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7 Responses to “Big Girl Band Aids”

  1. pelicanfreak May 16, 2012 at 8:06 PM #

    hilarious! “Little Susie”… that’s different…

  2. chrisdevoss May 16, 2012 at 9:57 PM #

    Bean! Ha ha!

  3. Missus Tribble May 17, 2012 at 5:58 AM #

    Heheh, that’s cute! ūüėÄ

  4. RFL May 17, 2012 at 4:56 PM #

    This is so funny! Nice job explaining though.

    • chrisdevoss May 17, 2012 at 5:19 PM #

      Why does this always happen when Mom is not around?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s Like Herding Bloggers « Someone Fat Happened - May 17, 2012

    […] how old? Well then NO of course she hasn‚Äôt, let her get out of kindergarten man! Chris, the big girl band aid discussion will have to wait till next […]

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