Morning Announcements At The Stoner School

20 Apr

Happy 4-20 to all those who are excited about such coincidental things. I don’t partake myself, but being a liberal, and finding it funny how much people are really, really, REALLY, are into it…I hope you find this amusing.

And if you don’t…go smoke a fat one and read it again.

Morning Announcements At The Stoner School

Good morning students. This is your principal, Mr. Berick….and since it’s 11:40 am most of you should be arriving for your 9 am classes.

First off we would like to thank all the students who donated to the annual food drive. We surpassed last year’s goal by collecting 24 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, 14 bags of Cheese Puffs, and 9 boxes of Twinkes. The Jamaican Coalition Of Snack-less Tokers thanks you. We will be shipping this off as soon as someone reminds us.

A couple classes will be cancelled today due to a scheduled teacher’s smoke out. These classes are: Bogarting 101, Dime Bags Throughout History, Cooking Brownies, and Advanced  Bongineering.

Don’t forget to sign up for the Seth Rogan film lab this Saturday night. This will be both a fun and educational look at the filmography of Mr. Rogan including a complete editorial commentary on Pineapple Express given by Mr. Roger Travers, night shift manager of the 7/11.

Also ballets for Bongmaster and Queen of this year’s prom are due. Don’t forget to vote. Write it down now on a piece of paper, or rolling papers, or something, your hand maybe, because you are going to forget. Last year we only had two votes and Ms. Piggy was ineligible since she does not attend our school…or is even a real person. She is a muppet, people. Don’t be a ditchweed, please vote.

Our basketball team, The Killer Buds, will think about playing tonight…so you should think about coming out and see them…or at least watch a basketball movie like Hoosiers.

Now if everyone would please rise, or at least sit up straight in your desk as we play the school’s anthem, Tom Petty’s You Don’t Know How It Feels.

Editor’s Note: Although I didn’t partake in any smoking while writing this, I was slacking on the couch and eating nachos.

10 Responses to “Morning Announcements At The Stoner School”

  1. J. Todd Hubbard April 20, 2012 at 6:53 PM #

    High-larious!

  2. Jennozen April 21, 2012 at 12:47 AM #

    Mmmm twiiiinkies…..

    • chrisdevoss April 21, 2012 at 6:50 AM #

      They are not for you! They are for the Jamicans!

  3. KC & Co. April 21, 2012 at 8:07 AM #

    Hrmm…ThinkGeek had a package of highly caffeinated brownie mix, once…(and believe me, it was! My two roomies and I, all brownie -and- caffeine addicts, could only eat one -small- brownie at a time without getting a headache.) but I wonder what’d happen if you made magic brownies out of it? Speedball brownies? *giggles*

    KC & Co.

    PS what is so wrong with putting a downer in your stimulant? Isn’t that Irish Coffee is?

    • chrisdevoss April 21, 2012 at 8:26 AM #

      Sounds like a science experiment…or could possibly be the greatest thing in stoner technology since turning a watermelon into a bong! You could become a legend for this!

      • KC & Co. April 21, 2012 at 8:32 AM #

        *laughs* Yay me! No applause, just throw weed!

        KC & Co.

  4. pelicanfreak April 21, 2012 at 7:00 PM #

    I just wanna say… your blogs are the highlight of my day. I often read them at work and cannot get on to comment. Just assume I am LOL at everything… 🙂 🙂 This one is classic.

    • chrisdevoss April 21, 2012 at 9:27 PM #

      Thank you. I really appreciate that. 🙂

      • pelicanfreak April 21, 2012 at 10:11 PM #

        I really appreciate YOU. Between FB and WordPress I always know I can find a laugh if I need to.

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