The Potato Chip Exchange

18 Apr

A friend of mine owns a private business as well as works for the same company I do. He tells this story of how he was walking the grounds of his business when he comes across an unopened and expired bag of jalapeno potato chips from a big named supermarket chain here in Florida. To protect the supermarket chain, we will call them Bublix.

Well, he decides to take the bag of jalapeno potato chips back to Bulix and exchange them for a fresher and more agreeable flavor that he would rather eat. Bulix complies, no problem.

Most everyone has a bad reaction to this tale. The general consensus was that you are taking money away from Bulix and hurting everyone in the long run by driving prices up in the future to cover potato chip exchange loses today.

I just laugh. This guy is known for his frugality and I don’t think most people would think of exchanging their chips. (Quick note: For my U.K. audience, we are actually talking about crisps. The story makes more sense now, right? Sorry about that.)

But it did get me to thinking that if everyone was so concerned that Bulix was getting screwed out of their money, that maybe we could start a potato chip exchange program. You would go in with either your unopened or opened bag of chips, and for a small fee of twenty five to thirty five cents be able to exchange your chips for some other chips. This way Bulix and Corporate Chip America (C.C.A.) will not take a 100% loss and Consumer America Chip Or Crisps For My U.K. Friends (A.C.O.C.F.U.K.F.) can still be satisfied in their purchase.

I think the rate exchange would look something like this:

Any National Brand/Any Flavor can be exchanged for the same Brand/Different flavor with no penalty except for Salt & Vinegar chips. With Salt & Vinegar chips you lose a third of a bag. For example: If I bring in a full bag of Lay’s Salt & Vineger Chips, I can exchanged them for a third of a bag of Lay’s Sour Cream & Onion Chips.

Any National Brand/Any Flavor (Salt & Vinegar rules still apply) can be exchanged for a different Brand/Flavor. Depending on the Brand/Flavor there maybe penalties. It will be up to the discretion of your Chip Exchange Officer (C.E.O.) and Market Prices (M.P.) at the time of the exchange.

Some examples:

Three bags of Wise Wavy Potato Chips = One Bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.
One Can of Pringles BBQ = One bag of Butter Popcorn
One bag of Pretzel Rods (Any Company) = Two and half bags of Cheez Doodles 

You can exchange opened bags of chips as well.

Three Cheese Flavored Stax’s Potato Chips = Two Nacho Chips
Fourteen Cheese Balls = Nine Fritos or Six Chili Cheese Fritos
Eighteen Kettle Cooked Chips = Twelve Salsa Sun Chips 

And so on. I think you get the idea. I feel Chip Exchanges (or crisps. *wink* to the U.K.) will pop up everywhere, just like Amscot’s.

And there motto will be: Your Chips are OK with us.


6 Responses to “The Potato Chip Exchange”

  1. pelicanfreak April 18, 2012 at 2:09 PM #

    This is great!!! Will Binn Dixie be participating as well? Or Good Puma?? I have at least 6 open bags of chips I could trade up!

    • chrisdevoss April 18, 2012 at 9:23 PM #

      Bring them on down. No quanity too small!

  2. Dotty Headbanger April 18, 2012 at 5:39 PM #

    Dear Chris,
    So when people go to exchange open bags of crisps, how do you spot the lickers? Because that’s what I’d do, eat two or three and lick the flavour off the rest.
    Love Dotty xxx

    • chrisdevoss April 18, 2012 at 9:19 PM #

      Dear Dotty,
      You have inspired me to call people dirty crisp lickers.
      Thank you,
      Chris ooo

  3. RFL April 18, 2012 at 6:29 PM #

    The exchange system sounds complicated, so it will probably be adapted into our tax code.
    I’m with you on salt and vinegar chips.

    • chrisdevoss April 18, 2012 at 9:22 PM #

      Don’t give them any ideas!

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