Everything Is Made In China

12 Apr

The Boy Teenager and I were sitting in the car waiting for the Girl Teenager. The Boy Teenager was bored…of course. So he starts digging in the glove box and pulling out the emergency medical kit, which is what he does everytime that he is bored.

Boy Teenager: Look scissors. What are these for?
Me: Those are medical scissors.
Boy Teenager: Why do you have medical scissors in the car?
Me: For cutting medical tape.
Boy Teenager: Why would we need to cut medical tape?
Me: Well, if we get into a horrible accident, and you break all your bones. I can tape you down to the hood of the car until an ambulance arrives. That way your bones don’t all fall down into your legs. Makes it easier for the doctors to put you back together again.
Boy Teenager: Oh. What if the hood falls off in the accident?
Me: Then I tape you to a tree.

So then he starts twirling the scissors around his finger.

Me: Do you think that is a good idea? You can poke your and mine eyes out.

Boy Teenager stops twirling the scissors and proceeds to examine them instead.

Boy Teenager: Hey, these say, “Made in China.”
Me: Everything is made in China.
Boy Teenager: Everything can’t be made in China. I bet I can find something in this car not made in China.
Me: OK. Knock yourself out.

He picks up a package of tissues from the glove box and examines the package.

Boy Teenager: It doesn’t say where they are made.

I shrug. He then carefully pulls out a single tissue and gently unfolds it square by square while examining it inch by inch.

Me: I don’t think it’s going to say where it was manufactured from on the actual tissue.
Boy Teenager: It might. You don’t know that it doesn’t.

My Children often inform me that there is a lot in this world that I don’t know, so I shrug and smile. After about five minutes he throws the tissue behind him.

Me: Hey!
Boy Teenager: Doesn’t say it’s from China.
Me: Can you pick up the tissue, please.

He goes to pick up the tissue, but gets distracted by some of the Toddler’s toys. He picks up a stuffed animal and examines the tag.

Boy Teenager: It’s from China.
Me: Told ya.
Boy Teenager: I’ll find something.

He grabs another toy, a pair of plastic sunglasses, and the Toddler’s lunch box, which she has been told a thousand times not to leave in the car.

The Boy Teenager finds out one by one, each item was made in China.

The Boy Teenager then decides to wear the Toddler’s pink sunglasses. He picks up the Girl Teenager’s hairspray and examines the bottle.

Boy Teenager: Here it says it’s made in the USA. Dissed by Cincinnati!
Me: Are you saying people in Cincinnati don’t like that hairspray?
Boy Teenager: Yup, that is what it says.
Me: Let me see that.

I grab the hairspray and read: Dist. by P&G Cincinnati.

Me: That means distributed, not dissed!
Boy Teenager: I know. I was just joking.
Me: Food and hair products don’t count.
Boy Teenager: Hey, I wonder if anything in my pockets is Made in China.

Cincinnati hates this product.

He whips off the Toddler’s sunglasses and drops them onto the floor of the car.

Me: Can you pick those up so they don’t get stepped on?

Boy Teenager picks up the sunglasses and drops them again.

Me: Boy Teenager, pick up the glasses please!
Boy Teenager: Sorry.

He picks them up. Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a flag keychain and an arcade ticket.

Boy Teenager: The key chain is made in China!

He then pulls out his school ID.

He then pulls out another school ID, but it is only half.

Boy Teenager: Look, I have half an ID.
Me: Why do you only have half an ID?
Boy Teenager: I was bored so I broke it.
Me: Haven’t I given you money to replace your lost ID like 5 times this year?
Boy Teenager: Umm, yes.
Me: So you haven’t lost them, you were breaking them?
Boy Teenager: No, I lost those. I also have an 8th of an ID.

Me: I don’t understand….If you pull out a 16th of an ID your grounded!

Boy Teenager just smiles.


3 Responses to “Everything Is Made In China”

  1. chrisdevoss April 13, 2012 at 12:01 AM #

    Oh they are a joy sometimes. The Preteen broke the toilet seat tonight. How? Don’t know.

  2. KC April 14, 2012 at 3:40 AM #



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