Bigfoot Walks Into A Bar

20 Feb

 Bigfoot walks into a bar, grabs the nearest bar stool, and sits down. The bar tender and damn near everyone else in the bar looks at Bigfoot in shock. Bigfoot suddenly gets that weird feeling that people and Bigfeet alike get when suddenly a group of drunks (or anyone for that matter) are starring at them. Bigfoot swivels around on his bar stool, and stares back at the bar patrons. Everyone in the bar averts there eyes quickly to try to hide the fact that they were just staring at the Bigfoot. Bigfoot sighs and says,
“Can’t a Bigfoot get a drink in peace around here without everyone boring a hole in his back with their eyes?”
The bar tender clears his throat and says,
“Well Mr. Foot sir, quite frankly people are not used to seeing someone of your sort walk into this here bar in that condition.”
“Oh!” Bigfoot says much, much too loud. “What does that mean? My sort? Are you saying this fine town has a problem with people of my sort?! Because I have lawyers, man! Are you saying I’m not welcomed in this bar?”

“Um, no…” stammered the bar tender. “You see the problem is…”

“What?! I’ll tell you what the problem is!” screamed Bigfoot. “You don’t like my kind in your bar! Your prejudice against Bigfoots, because I’ve seen Unicorns being served here…I’ve seen the Loch Ness Monster in here, Vampires, Chupacabras, Demons, Dragons, Swamp Cabbage Man, Dane Cook, Aliens, Zombies, Mothman, the Jersey Devil…and when I come strolling in, suddenly everyone has an issue. My lawyers are going to sue the pants off of each and everyone of you!”

“Well, that’s the problem Mr. Foot sir, you’re not wearing any pants and that’s against state code for me to serve you without the proper attire on,” the bar tender replied.

“Oh!” said the Bigfoot, his face turning a little red. “That’s an entirely different story all together! My apologies.”

Bigfoot quickly gets up and walks out of the bar, but on the way out he does ask several of the lady patrons if they “likes what they sees.”

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6 Responses to “Bigfoot Walks Into A Bar”

  1. RFL February 20, 2012 at 10:16 AM #

    Wait, are you saying Dane Cook is not funny? Haha! Loved this Bigfoot post.

    • chrisdevoss February 20, 2012 at 11:13 AM #

      Yes, Dane Cook is not funny with the exception of the movie Waiting. 🙂

  2. RFL February 20, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

    I thought I remembered something in his stand-up making me laugh, so I googled it (Dane Cook’s stand-up is funny?), and Google responded, “I don’t know what you meant to search, but there is no record of that.”

    • chrisdevoss February 20, 2012 at 3:20 PM #

      Now that is funny!

  3. jiltaroo January 28, 2014 at 10:25 PM #

    Well, you know what it means if you have big feet!…….big shoes. You are bloody funny Christopher. Sorry it has been so long that I have visited!

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