Jonathon “Jasper” Johns Simplistic Review Of Zombie Swag

11 Jan

Recently, my neighbor and biggest critic, Jonathon “Jasper” Johns knocked on my door.

Jasper: I see you wrote another Zombie story…finally. (He is referring to: That Zombie Swag)

Me: Uh…yes?

Jasper: It sucked.

Me: Ok, big surprise coming from you. What was wrong with it?

Jasper: I don’t understand what Zombies have to do with carpet from the ’70s.

Me: Carpet…from the 70s? You lost me.

Jasper: That Zombie Shag. Makes no sense. Why don’t you stick to posting funny pictures.

Me: Oh. It’s not Shag, it’s swag. It’s like saying you have style.

Jasper: Thank you.

Me: No, that’s what swag means. What didn’t you like about the story?

Jasper: No one dies. No one has names. No Zombies die. Hey, why don’t you write a story where you are the main character and you die.

Me: Then how will I post funny pictures?

Jasper: Oh, well maybe you can just turn into a Zombie and then I kill you.

Me: That still stops me from posting funny pictures.

Jasper: Well, I can’t think of everything. You got any beer?

Me: No.

Jasper: Ok then bye.

Me: Jasper, next time you come to the door, can you wear more then just boxer shorts.

Jasper: It’s laundry day.

Me: Of course it is…

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