That Zombie Swag

9 Jan

Two teenagers are sitting on a 8 foot wall in an abandoned industrial neighborhood.

“Hey, look at that Zombie. That Zombie has swag.”

“How do you figure?”

“Just look at it. Look at the way it walks.”

“All Zombies walk that way stupid.”

“No, no. There is something special in the way that Zombie creeps. It definitely has swag. Creeper swag.”

“You’re a ‘tard. Hey what about that Creeper over there? With all the female Zoms around it. That’s the pimp Zombie.”

“Yeah, yeah. I see it. He be pimpin’ them Zom Hoes to the swag Zombies. Best be giving me some brains or I’ll bust a cap in your half-eaten ass!”

The teens laugh. One of them picks up a rock and throws it at the Zombies. It hits a Zombie in the head. The Zombie heads towards the wall, but the wall is too tall for it to reach the boys. The Zombie just stands there, with it’s arms in the air, and groaning.

“Oh, now you have done it. You brought the Vice President of Zombies to our wall. Whatcha going to do, Mr. Vice President? Are you going to eat me? You piece of shit Zom!”

“You can’t talk to the Vice President of Zombies like that! You need to show some respect, man.”

“Oh, yeah…yeah. Sorry VP of Zom.” He salutes the Zombie.

“Do you remember when there was no Zombies?”

“Yeah, yeah. I remember. Those were good times. I even miss school. Do you believe that? Missing school? Never thought I would ever, ever say those words.”

“I miss it too.”

Long silence between the boys.

“Hey, don’t get all teary-eyed on me ‘tard. Look over there…a Rock-n-Roll Zom.” He makes the devil sign with his fingers and shakes his head to an invisible beat.

“Yeah! And there’s the famous actor Zombie from TV. All dressed up to get some Zombie action….”

The boys keep talking and pointing out different Zombies with personas from a different life. They eventually leave the wall before the sun starts to go down…but the Zombies stay.

The Zombies always stay.

%d bloggers like this: