Super Important: City Of Orlando, Title II, City Code – Chapter 71

27 Dec

I just wanted to remind everyone of the City Of Orlando, Title II, City Code – Chapter 71 ordinance, because I am pretty sure my neighbor is breaking at least one of these:

Chapter 71

Sec. 71.01 – Harboring Zombies

It shall be unlawful for any person, directly or indirectly, to harbor, keep, care for, maintain zombies, dead and not moving, nor dead and moving, whether they be of relation or not, in the City, unless such person first shall have registered with The Center For Zombie Control.

Sec 71.02 – Exemptions

There are to be no exemptions.

Sec 71.03 – Selling of Zombie Body Parts

It shall be unlawful for any person, directly or indirectly, to solicit zombie body parts, donations of zombie body parts, or to sell or offer for sale any foot, arm, head, hand, big toe, spleen, pee pee, knee cap or any thing of value on the pleas or representation that such solicitation or sale, or the proceeds thereof, is for a charitable, patriotic, public, philanthropic or political purpose, in the City, unless such person first shall have registered with The Center For Zombie Control and has obtained a licence.

Sec 71.04 – Public Feeding Of Zombies

It shall be unlawful for any person, directly or indirectly, to feed zombies while in a public setting. This includes body parts not being used, body parts being used, crackers, brains, cereal,  gum or any thing on person, or around person, in the City. Violators will meet with Justice and will serve no less than two and a half hours of jail time and ninety days of community service at the Jacksonville zoo.

Not trying to be a jerk or bust anyone out, just trying to keep the neighborhood safe…that’s all. You know who you are if your breaking these ordinances. I suggest you clean up your little zombie business and move it elsewhere. (The Kolpolcheks!)

Thank you.

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