Cake and Eat It Too

26 Dec

I was recently pondering the meaning of the phrase, ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too.’ Which made no sense to my dumb little brain, because I was thinking of it in these terms: If you hand me a piece of cake, well then I’m going to eat it.

I have the cake,and I ate it. So yes, I can have my cake and eat it too.

After looking it up on the end all, of all misinformation, Wikipedia, I soon discovered how wrong I was in my understanding of this stupid phrase. It actually means you can’t have a whole cake, and eat it, and still have a whole cake.

Which is stupid. Why would I want to keep a cake forever and never eat it? You make the cake, you eat the cake. End of story.

No one makes a cake and then says, “Wow, what a great cake. Let’s keep this cake forever!”

“Yes, Julie! This cake is much too delicious and moist to eat! Let’s preserve this cake so future generations can gaze upon it’s rich, light fluffiness, and remark on how this cake is grander than any other cake in the world!”

(By the way, I don’t know who Julie is.)

The Wikipedia article is pretty boring, except the section on similar expressions from other countries:

French:  To want the butter and the money for the butter (Probably for those tasty croissants!)

Italy: To have the barrel full and the wife drunk (Looks like Italy is trying to score!)

Spanish: Wishing to be both at Mass and in the procession or Swimming and keeping an eye on the removed clothes (Sounds like the Spanish want to be good on one hand by going to church, and naughty on the other hand by skinny dipping.)

Serbia: You can’t have both goatling and money (Here in America we would never have a goatling, so if cake wasn’t already the item used, we would probably say: You can’t have both XBOX 360 and money.)

Chinese: To want a horse that both runs fast and consumes no feed (And wins me money at the races.)

Greek: You want the pie whole and the dog full (I guess they feed their dogs pie in Greece instead of Puppy Chow.)

Swiss: You can’t have the five cent coin and a -certain type of swiss- bread roll (Makes me wonder what this certain type of swiss-bread roll is….is it better than the standard swiss-bread roll? Who makes it? Pepperidge Farm?)

Bulgaria: The wolf is full, and the lamb – whole (And that’s why Bulgaria is the funniest country ever.)

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