The Death Of High-Five Man

5 Dec

Article taken from The Orlando Weekly Daily:

Today one of Orlando’s lesser known mighty super heros has fallen, High-Five Man. High-Five Man was a mere 25 years old.

While in a heroic attempt to stop a local jewelry store from being robbed, High-Five Man and his trusty sidekick, Answers Questions With A Question Man was killed by an unknown super villain. The super villain was described as having sharp pointy steel poles protruding from everywhere on his body. As you may recall, High-Five Man’s finishing move involves jumping high in the air and slamming his foes with a gigantic, thunderous high five to somewhere on their body.

Needless to say High-Five Man didn’t stand a chance.

Eye witness Jason Bourke describes what happened;

“Well first High-Five Man was confused, because this guy had spikes coming from everywhere, and I mean everywhere on his body. High-Five Man couldn’t even get close to the guy. Answers Questions With A Question Man was just weeping in the corner being no help what-so-ever. Suddenly, High-Five Man leaps in the air, draws his arm back in the ultimate high five, and impales himself on the bad dude’s spikes. Then the bad dude shish-ka-bobs Answers Questions With A Question Man next. It was gross. What kind of super power is high five-ing people anyway?”

In a side note, Answers Questions With A Question Man, was voted 2011’s most annoying super hero.

Currently, we at The Orlando Weekly Daily, are dubbing this new super villain: The Steel Porcupine.

Funeral services are to be announced sometime next week.

High Five Man is survived by his wife Low Five Woman, and their three kids: UpHigh, DownLow, and TooSlow.

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