Randoms Pt 7

1 Dec

Toddler: Rafael went to the centipedes
Wife: The where?
Toddler: The centipedes.
Wife: Where?
Toddler: The centipedes, it where his grandma lives!
Wife: Oh, the Philippines.
Toddler:That’s what I said!

I can be such an ass sometimes!

Relationship Analogy:

Funny is to Girlfriend as Unfunny is to Wife

or

Funny is to Unfunny as Girlfriend is to Wife

I can’t decide which one I like better.

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I think the Batman villains need an update. The Riddler, The Penguin, and Mr Freeze were good for the 50’s, but today I think they should be more relevant.Here are a few of my suggestions:

The Multi-Tasker – Able to successfully organize multiple crimes and maintain a household at the same time. 

The Facebook Status Hijacker – Will take over your Facebook and posts things like: “I’m gay!” or for gay people: “I’m straight!”

Identity-Theft Man – Mostly buys those “As Seen On TV” products with your credit cards. Sells them on EBay. Batman once found his credit card statement to be filled with camouflaged snuggies and miracle potato peelers. 

The X (The Ex) – Scorned by lovers everywhere, she’ll date you, even marry you. Then she will dump you and make your life a living hell. 

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