WordPress Spam

3 Nov

 For those that do not WordPress, when you have a comments section, you get a lot of the internet robots spamming your site. For those who do not know what internet robots are, they are programs that comb the internet (WordPress and Twitter get hit a lot) looking for specific words, then they will leave advertisements disguised as comments. Wordpess has a program that catches these comments and puts them in a spam folder.

I have to tell you some of these spams are pretty funny. Let me share: (As if you didn’t already know where this was going.)

From Warning: Snot an article on my drippy, runny, nose:

Your right, robot…Aged soldiers certainly not die. Are you Chinese with English as your second language? I would have thought the robots might send a tissue related comment. But if we are relating snot to whatever that mucus plug thing is with pregnancy, then I guess I can see the connection.

At first I didn’t understand the link to getting pregnant with aged soldiers, but since most soldiers are boys, then maybe if you want your little one to grow up and get killed in combat…you might want a little help guaranteeing success on spitting out a male.

From Superhero Facebook Post. An article where I took a game I posted on Facebook and turned it into a short story. The robots really liked this one, lots of words to mine.

I am soooo happy too! Especially since my brother’s name is Jack, and I think, although I’m not sure, he was once found alive and well at JFK. And once again, not sure, although American Airlines was not diligently looking for my brother,  Dunken Donuts was! And they kept looking until they found him. Seems he left a book that he was reading on the counter, after buying a donut. That’s dedication. CL.

Thank you Bodybuilding.com Coupon Code for noticing that I do puts effort into a design, (Small tear) and I do gives the pages. I really, really do gives the pages. Like what I write or not, no one can say that I don’t do give the pages! It’s so nice when someone notices.

I don’t set up notifications value, I don’t know what the hell they are talking about there.

Where do I get that Bodybuilding Coupon anyway?

Thanks fessbook for pointing out how unpopular I am. Makes me feel real good about writing my next article. Reminds me of my freshman year in High School. Day one someone throws gum in my hair. Was that you fessbook? Was it? Are you now coming back to throw more gum in my hair 20 years later? Let us move past this you bastard.

You are right about one thing, I do know how to bring an issue to light and make it important, especially when it’s the issue of a Superhero named White Hot Pussy. More people do need to understand White Hot Pussy and I thank you fessbook for allowing me to make two more jokes about White Hot Pussy.

From Jack Handey In Trouble Again Pt 2 (A Racist): This is an article on when Jack Handey got into trouble making a joke on the Chinese’s half.

I’m not sure what finding a good vitamin has to do with learning How To Interview….unless you are interviewing for a job with a vitamin company.

From Johnny’s Zombie Parade: A story about Johnny parading a captured zombie up and down main street.

 Don’t threaten me, Mariah Brownie robot. No one video signals my articles. Ever! Not without paying me first. I know you look over forward. We all look over forward before video signaling my articles. A friend of mine once said, he said,

“Chris…if you don’t over forward your video signal…no one will.”

And I still do to this day.

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4 Responses to “WordPress Spam”

  1. cappy @ writer's block November 3, 2011 at 5:37 PM #

    I got this the other day.

    I really dont care if Im wrong if I am I will apologize but I hope you will be able to clear this up for me. .We believe Wolf was eating squirrel poop while we were on walks at first we thought he was chewing on acorns but then I saw what he was really eating! and Kay recently recalled that Wolf got to a dead squirrel that was hidden under some leaves. .3 All you can really tell from the titer is that there has been exposure to the lepto strains or something that cross reacts with the strains.

    Surprisingly enough, it made me really happy.
    Great post 🙂

    • chrisdevoss November 3, 2011 at 11:33 PM #

      The strains of squirrel poop! I’m jealous of your spam. That’s awesome.

  2. BrainRants November 3, 2011 at 10:15 PM #

    I think the same bots hit both our sites. Also, if you’re remotely giving a shit and an American, about 17% of our Soldiers are women now. Which leaves you technically correct. PSA complete.

    • chrisdevoss November 3, 2011 at 11:41 PM #

      Cool, I like being correct, but I don’t mind being wrong if it’s funny. Also big thanks to all those in the service, both men and women…because of what you do allows me to continue to do what I do with my freedoms intact. I follow the guy (I’m on my tablet, which makes it hard to look up his Twitter name) who broke the Bin Laden death on Twitter. The stuff he describes of the land and culture over there makes me appreciate what we have here all the more.

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