Weird Dream About My Wife’s Gynecologist

1 Nov

 Had this dream that my wife’s Gynecologist was actually a Magician and not a Gynecologist at all.

So when the dream starts,  I am going with my wife to the Gynecologist’s office, which I would probably not do, because there is no reason for me to be there. When they call her name,  I go back with her to the little cold room, which I would probably not do, because there is no reason for me to be there.

In the room is only a table and nothing else.

She gets on the table, puts her legs in the stirrup things and a sheet magically appears and covers her. Now all you see is her feet spread apart, in the air, with a sheet covering her to the neck, in the stirrup thingys.

My point of view of the whole thing is at her head, looking down the sheet, to her stirrupy feet.

The Gynecologist comes in wearing the stereotypical top hat, black suit, white gloves,and red tie. He also has a pencil thin mustache and is holding a cane. Basically he looks like any Magician of the 1920s.

He doesn’t say a word. He holds up one gloved hand so we can see it’s empty, then reaches under the sheet and starts pulling out colored handkerchiefs that are all tied together.

My wife claps. Suddenly bright lights from overhead pop on and I realize we are on stage in front of a millions of people.

At the end of this very long string of handkerchiefs is a rose, which he hands to my wife and she smiles.

At this point I ask my wife,

“What the hell is going on?”

And she replies,

“Relax. Enjoy the show. This guy is good. It’s hard to get tickets.”

He waves his hand over the sheet dramatically, crotch level of my wife, and fifty or so colored balloons float out and disappear into the sky.

The traditional Ta-Da music plays.

The entire theater explodes with applause.

Then he reaches under the sheet again and pulls out one playing card. The Ace of Spades. He holds it up and asks me,

“Is this your card?”

The traditional Ta-Da music plays again.

The entire theater explodes with applause…again.

“I never picked a card, you idiot!” I yell. “I still don’t even know what’s going on!”

The Magician smiles. He holds up one finger and rubs his mustache.

Well, since we were on stage, with this Gynecologist/Magician doing magic tricks with my wife’s Hoo-Hoo…and it was my dream…I decided to turn the Gynecologist/Magician into a woman.

Take that! Now this dream was hot!

And just when she was about to perform her next trick…now naked of course…that’s when the toddler crawled into my bed and woke me up….

Damn.

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2 Responses to “Weird Dream About My Wife’s Gynecologist”

  1. Natasha @ The City Slacker November 1, 2011 at 9:49 AM #

    Of course! In YOUR dream there is no reason for anyone to be clothed especially if they are doing magic tricks with your wife’s Hoo-Hoo.

    • chrisdevoss November 2, 2011 at 12:07 AM #

      I like how you think!

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