For those unfamiliar, this is a pumpkin with Walter White’s face carved into it. Walter White is from the TV show Breaking Bad, the greatest TV show ever mind you.
No matter what I did to that graphic above it either came out blurry, or came out too small to read. Thanks for nothing WordPress.
What it says is:
I can’t even cut a good triangle eye socket.
I like to use the patterns so ppl think I’m artistic. Tricks on them ! (Emoticon with tongue sticking out)
I tried to use patterns, but they get all bunched up on the pumpkin…then my pattern of a werewolf looks like a messed up triangle eye socket.
Happy The Pattern Looks Easier In The Book Then It Is To Perform On The Pumpkin
Happy I Hope I Don’t Run Out Of Candy Before Those Damn Teenagers Who Decided At 10 O’clock At Night To Go Trick Or Treating With Their Pillow Case And Besides Aren’t They Too Old To Go Trick Or Treating Anyway?
Happy Turn Off All Your Lights And Make No Noise Because Your Too Cheap Or Lazy To Buy/Give Out Candy
Happy Go Downtown And Stare At All The Ladies’ Butts That Are Hanging Out Of The Bottom Of Their Bumble Bee Costumes
Happy Go Through Your Kids’ Candy And Stick The Bit O’ Honey Back Into The Candy Bowl To Give To Other Trick Or Treaters
If you have not played Candy Crush, it’s a game much like Bejeweled where you match the pieces and clear the board. If you have not played Bejeweled, then skip this post all together.
Candy Crush is a little more addictive because there are different levels and boards to conquer unlike the endless dropping gems of Bejeweled. I wasn’t going to get suckered into playing, until I got suckered into playing.
And all was good…until Level 65 came along.
Level 65 is a dick. I must have played it like 50 times before unleashing my disdain on the Facebook community.
Hate to complain…but it makes me feel better. FYI: The dinos refers to Jurassic Park which is a game I play in between playing my favorite game at the moment, Simpson’s Tap Out.
Then my friend Kenny came along. Kenny recently broke his foot, so I’m sure he had lots of time to master this evil, evil, foul smelling game.
A lot of time apparently.
I call this taunt Kenny Crush.
If you have played this game, you will understand how much this hurts.
If you clear a lot of pieces the game says, “Sweet!” It would have been better if the Keanu Reeves of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure said it. I thought it was funny.
Candy Crush depression or Candy Cression.
Kenny actually texted me with some tips and strategies. Like; did you know if they stripes on the candies are horizontal, they will blow apart the horizontal row away and same with vertical.
With Kenny’s advice, and a few exercises where he made me grab a fly from his hand with chop sticks, I was getting closer.
Until…I did it! Which means nothing in this world, but I’m so happy yay!
Until I got stuck on Level 78….
It’s always cool when a celebrity respondes to your tweet. I got two celebrities to respond to me this week.
I tweeted this out:
And got this lengthy explaination:
I knew it!
And even more impressive, when I tweeted this:
I got this:
Got some backlash on this one. It was only a joke. I bought her Mother’s Day present at Family Dollar a week ago.
For those that don’t wish to squint it says: My favorite kid’s playground toy: “Let’s pretend to drive a fence.”
Some of my favorite Facebook posts as of late: