The Other Me Is A Fashion Designer

30 Dec

When you are trying to take over the internet, it’s not narcissistic to use Google Alerts.

It’s not.

Ok, it is a little…but it’s a great tool to find out where you land in the search engines, if anyone is interested in the product you’re putting out, and helps to capture who your audience is outside of the WordPress community.

I use Google Alerts to track this nonsense, as well as (and more importantly) my sister project: Long Awkward Pause.

If you are not familiar with Google Alerts, it emails you when certain words that you ask it to track are typed into the Google search engine. The other day, this pops into my email:

googlealert

There are a couple of things that make this even more funny and coincidental then it already is…probably only to me…but I’m going to share anyway:

- There are a lot of people with the last name of DeVos, with the one ‘S’, not a lot with the two ‘SS’ ‘s, (that’s a lot of processor apostrophes) like mine. So the fact that there is another name exactly like mine is incredible. It would be like if there where two people named Hippo Bandersnatch in the world.

- If you go to Long Awkward Pause and look at the writers list, you will notice my brother, Jack, is also on the staff. If you really pay attention, you will notice he is billed as Jack DeVoss, while I’m billed as Christopher De Voss. (With a space between the De and the Voss) There is no space in Jack’s last name. That’s because he spells it correctly, and I do not. Why have I chosen to add a space? When I was younger, and trying to be a famous actor, I thought it looked cool. That’s all, just the coolness factor. (which there is none…(and I’m not famous, but kind of stuck with it now. (this is just to add another parenthese)))

- Target is my favorite store.

Now going back to the article that the Google Alert, altered me to; this I think, is supposed to be a picture of the Target fashion designers: Peter Pilotto and Christopher De Voss:

The article didn't credit who was who...

The article didn’t credit who is who…

One looks like a shorter version of the lead singer of Coldplay and the other looks like any lead German-born bad guy in an action movie such as Die Hard. (Die Hard 12, Die Hard With A Fashion!)

Here are some examples of their die hard fashion designs:

It all looks like something Sally would wear from Nightmare Before Christmas.

It all looks like something Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas would wear.

In case you are not familiar with the reference:

sally

Sally

I think if any of my friends would say that if I designed fashion for women, it would look something like this:

Not true!

Not true!

I would actually design something more in the lines of this:

Sofia-Vergara-Cleavage-At-CFDA-Fashion-Awards-Red-Carpet-PHOTOS1-550x482

Although, I would probably sneak something like this into my fashion line:

41gzjU4FzPL._SS500_

I will use this same name thing to try to score free clothes from Target:

“You don’t know who I am?! I designed this plaid button down shirt! I’m fashion designer, Christopher De Voss! Now put these clothes I have in my basket here on Target’s tab! I’m headed to the food court!”

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45 Responses to “The Other Me Is A Fashion Designer”

  1. ohlidia December 30, 2013 at 9:22 AM #

    Haha… my first laugh of the day! And you so would design those last 3, wouldn’t you? :-)

    • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 9:27 AM #

      No! (yes.)

    • ohlidia January 1, 2014 at 11:36 PM #

      I’m back to wish you a Happy New Year and all the best in 2014! I really enjoy your blog…so much so that I mentioned you in my post! Have a good one!

      • Christopher De Voss January 2, 2014 at 12:12 AM #

        Thank you! I enjoy your blog too! Happy New Year!

  2. samara December 30, 2013 at 9:45 AM #

    Long Awkward Pause – isn’t that something you do after I tell you those 2 designers look like they just got finished felching each other?

    About your fashion designs (not the green dress) – I was given a photo shoot for Christmas by one friend, and a blog redesign by another. I am doing some tasteful semi nudie shots. Like maybe from the back. Or the front,with giant hands. Maybe hands of God, so it looks religious.

    Will it make my blog look like soft core porn? Will I be taken seriously as a writer? Will I come off as big ho? I like a little sex appeal, but since your a guy, and these pics are right here, I thought I’d ask.

    Also, I will not be showing my face. This blog has to be anonymous, to protect the innocent.

    • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 9:56 AM #

      If you’re worried it will take away from your writing, I would not publish them. The question is, does it fit with the overall premise of your blog, or does it distract from it? You need to be comfortable with your decision internally, and not worry what your audience thinks. I think these blogs have a 80/20 relationship with the world….and the 80% is for you. It’s your product and your work, and ultimately, it only matters your stamp of approval.

      • samara December 30, 2013 at 10:01 AM #

        Well, I’m not sure that I have a premise.
        It started out that I don’t fit in where I live – or most places. Because I am a pretty weird chick. All rocked out, living in suburbia,raising a kid, etc.

        But I write about everything. Not just that.

        I’m customizing my blog to make it look like me, instead of this generic thing that looks like no one.

        The pics will be all sorts of things. The one or two sexy ones are part of who I am. I just don’t want that to be distracting.

        It’s why I don’t write sexual posts. I’ve written one or two,but I really don’t concentrate on that aspect, because ultimately, I don’t want this blog to be something people wank off to. But I do want to reflect me.

        Hmmmmm.

      • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 10:10 AM #

        If you think those pictures are a reflection of you, then it fits. You can always censor parts of the pictures too.

      • samara December 30, 2013 at 10:48 AM #

        Just my face. I’m not that pretty.

      • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 11:03 AM #

        We are always harder on ourselves than other people.

  3. Katie December 30, 2013 at 9:50 AM #

    You literally took the words right out of my brain with this: “the other looks like any lead German-born bad guy in an action movie such as Die Hard. “

  4. susielindau December 30, 2013 at 11:29 AM #

    I love it!
    I have several doppelgängers around the world and have a pretty funny Today Show story to prove it. I only have one Susie Lindau to compete with. I mention competing since I beat her to most social media names, but with Instagram, she won. It took me hours to figure out why I couldn’t sign up with my name. Duh! If she was a designer for Target, I’d line up right behind you.

    An actor! Cool! Did you give up on the dream or shelve it for a while? Speaking of dreams, you could play Maxim when my soon to be published book (on my resolution list) becomes a movie!
    -Sorry. I drank too much coffee and read this while on a treadmill. I’m getting my Wild energy back!
    Happy New Year!

    • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 11:40 AM #

      No, I’m just not good at acting. But I would love to direct your movie!

      • susielindau December 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM #

        Oh there you go! I’ll let you know when it’s ready. :)

      • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 2:15 PM #

        Cool!

  5. cpouca December 30, 2013 at 2:06 PM #

    I never viewed blogs as an 80/20 relationship, thanks I just had an AHA moment!

    • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 2:15 PM #

      Well, do you write for you? Or for someone else?

      • cpouca December 30, 2013 at 2:21 PM #

        I started out to write about my career as a teacher but Ive been finding so much pleasure in making a few of my posts about me.

      • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 2:26 PM #

        See, it’s about writing what you want to write about.

  6. floridaborne December 30, 2013 at 3:34 PM #

    I looked up one of my former married names on the Internet. It’s the name of woman who bakes incredible wedding cakes in the Midwest.

    There’s just 1 question I have about that line of clothing? Are the designers colorblind?

    Well….maybe 2 questions: Did they enter a contest to see who could make creative clothing out of remnants and get people to buy them?

    No matter the reason anyone would design such clown clothing, I ain’t buying it!

    Thanks for the laugh. :-)

  7. floridaborne December 30, 2013 at 4:35 PM #

    Thanks for reminding me to do a google search of my name. I would highly recommend that anyone who values their privacy do so.

  8. Eric Tonningsen December 30, 2013 at 5:01 PM #

    Just do it!

  9. herdthinner December 30, 2013 at 11:27 PM #

    I’ve looked for another Me before and can’t find one. Page after page of just Me. Now, I like the idea of being unique and all that, but just one Me out of 6-7 billion other humans? In a world where kids are being named after fruit and comic book characters and… I dunno, hygiene products?

    Oo! Can I copyright my name??

    No? Hm. Okay, just wondering.

  10. silkpurseproductions December 31, 2013 at 11:41 AM #

    Die Hard 12. Die Hard with a Fashion! I would be up front and center for this movie. I’m a sucker for the Die Hard franchise.

  11. Sandee December 31, 2013 at 11:47 AM #

    Ahhh for some reason WP on my computer is still loading the like button, so I can’t click it dernit. “Like.” And good luck in your fashion endeavors — Happy New Year!

  12. The Talking Violin December 31, 2013 at 3:41 PM #

    Hi there, thank you so much for all the “likes.” Happy New Year!

  13. calahan December 31, 2013 at 10:54 PM #

    My favorite non-me Mike Calahan is this guy:

    http://usdtoreros.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/calahan_mike00.html

    His hair is amazing!

  14. David Stewart January 2, 2014 at 7:01 AM #

    Happy New Year, good sir. I especially liked your Sally reference. I just watched Nightmare Before Christmas with about four classes, so I know exactly what she looks like. They do like something in her wardrobe.

  15. selfmadejournalist January 5, 2014 at 4:32 PM #

    I’m sharing names with someone who offers German tuition. How could I use this piece of information in order to get free clothes at Target? RSVP!!

    Also, I think the short guy is well aware of his looks and uses it to claim free Coldplay-albums. Yeah, I can tell.

    Do you think having a counterpart who knows German earns me free Coldplay merchandise?

    • Christopher De Voss January 5, 2014 at 4:44 PM #

      Is Coldplay German?!

      • selfmadejournalist January 5, 2014 at 4:55 PM #

        No, I don’t think so. Does that mean there’s no free stuff for me? (-;

      • Christopher De Voss January 5, 2014 at 4:57 PM #

        I don’t know. Are you German? Because I still think you have a shot!

      • selfmadejournalist January 5, 2014 at 5:00 PM #

        Naw, not even that. I’m Austrian. You know Arnold Schwarzenegger? He’s one of us.

        Do you think that earns me a free Schwarzenegger action figure?

  16. Chowderhead January 6, 2014 at 2:14 AM #

    Oops…

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