When You’re Sick Of Holiday Movies…

23 Dec

Have you had your fill of Rankin and Bass’ stop motion holiday classic; Rudolph the Frosty Grinch?

How many times have you watched It’s A Wonderful Miracle on 34th Griswald Lane?

Can’t stomach another viewing of “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out Charlie Brown!”?

Well, I’m here to help. Here is a list of slightly non-Christmas-y that you can watch with the whole family.

(Warning: Don’t watch any of these with the whole family.)

Rubber

 Rubber is the charming story of Robert, an abondoned tire that has been left in the desert and then suddenly and inexplicably comes to life. As Robert  rolls around, he soon discovers that he possesses terrifying telepathic powers that give him the ability to destroy anything he wishes.

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Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead

 Megumi wrestles with the guilt of her bullied sister’s suicide while joining her friends on a journey deep into the woods, where they encounter the nefarious Dr. Tanaka, who conducts gruesome experiments on the living dead. Later, as Dr. Tanaka attempts to make Megumi and friends his latest test subjects, the desperate young woman uses the dual power of karate and flatulence in order to defeat her demented captor.

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Nude Nuns With Big Guns

 Sister Sarah is abused, brainwashed and drugged into submission by a corrupt clergy who is in the business of selling drugs. On the verge of death, Sister Sarah receives a message from GOD telling her to take vengeance on all those who did her wrong. Armed with God’s will and an arsenal of big guns and little clothing, she seeks revenge on her former tormentors.

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Grabbers

Strange doings are afoot on a small Irish island: the crew of a fishing boat disappears, whales start appearing dead on the shore, a local lobster-man catches a strange tentacled creature in his trap. Soon residents learn they must get very drunk to survive attacks by alien monsters who can’t tolerate a high blood alcohol level in their victims.

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(Remember: I didn’t say any of these were good.)

51 Responses to “When You’re Sick Of Holiday Movies…”

  1. Al December 23, 2013 at 10:41 AM #

    I’m definitely joining Netflix for these!

    • Christopher De Voss December 23, 2013 at 10:42 AM #

      They are “great”. If only I could get my YouTube links to work.

  2. 1jaded1 December 23, 2013 at 10:49 AM #

    Sweet! Gonna try and watch all of these. Have you seen Treevenge? Can’t get the link to work on WP, but it may be one of the best Christmas movies evar.

    • Christopher De Voss December 23, 2013 at 10:51 AM #

      I’ll check it out. I’m always looking for something new and “good”.

  3. Bumba December 23, 2013 at 11:26 AM #

    Funny stuff. You couldn’t have made up better ones.
    Merry Christmas.

  4. gingerfightback December 23, 2013 at 1:56 PM #

    Rubber and Grabber – Oscars written all over them

  5. Eric Tonningsen December 23, 2013 at 2:27 PM #

    Good God, how did I miss these?! One a day going forward… :)

  6. pixiegirlkc52 December 23, 2013 at 3:43 PM #

    Pass The Nog….

  7. The Bumble Files December 23, 2013 at 6:53 PM #

    Zombie Ass? Wow, how did I miss that one, Chris! If seen the Nuns and have been tempted, you know.

  8. The Bumble Files December 23, 2013 at 6:54 PM #

    I’ve seen the Nuns…yes, I have. They been giving me nightmares…No, just kidding. I’m going to watch Rudolph now.

    • Christopher De Voss December 23, 2013 at 7:00 PM #

      I’m the king of bad movies. Sometimes as punishment, I make the kids watch with me…but not the nun movie…that’s not for kids…

  9. Aussa Lorens December 24, 2013 at 2:04 AM #

    Oh my goodness, I seriously just talked about the Zombie Ass movie on twitter the other night… I saw it on Netflix while I was trying to find something “scary” to watch. That’s a whole other level of frightening I don’t think I can delve into. It’s weird that you now mention it… I think the university selects things sometimes to just repeatedly force in our faces, like ad campaigns. So glad that Zombie Ass is what I get stuck with…

    • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 8:50 AM #

      Tentacles attacking people out of their butts is no laughing matter! Maybe you were meant for great things because of Zombie Ass…

      • Aussa Lorens December 24, 2013 at 12:33 PM #

        AAGGHHH that just gave me a flashback to when I’d just bought my dog and she had worms…
        *dry heave*
        Yes, you did deserve that mental image.

      • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 1:35 PM #

        Dogs are gross.

      • Aussa Lorens December 24, 2013 at 1:42 PM #

        Grossly full of joy.

      • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 1:56 PM #

        Not my dog. I honestly think she has mental issues. I have never met a dog that enjoys spending so much time on top of the sofa, staring at everyone, a la Snoopy’s vulture impersonation. Also, she doesn’t like pretzels or The Die Hard movies.

      • Aussa Lorens December 24, 2013 at 2:37 PM #

        I tried to give my dog pretzels when I ran out of treats and needed to bribe her into obedience. Utter failure. You’re right… dogs are not right.

      • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 3:42 PM #

        I knew I liked you for some reason.

  10. night owl December 24, 2013 at 3:19 AM #

    I’m a little worried now about how much of a perv I am. The thought of nude nuns bearing automatic weapons made me feel frisky. :-/

    Seriously, lots of fun, Chris.

  11. calahan December 24, 2013 at 4:12 PM #

    Did you actually watch all of those? Wow.

    • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 4:13 PM #

      Of course. I love really bad movies.

      • calahan December 24, 2013 at 4:14 PM #

        Suck on that, Godfather Parts I and II.

      • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 4:19 PM #

        Never seen them. What about three? No bueno?

      • calahan December 24, 2013 at 5:22 PM #

        It’s best to pretend it didn’t exist.

      • Christopher De Voss December 24, 2013 at 5:27 PM #

        Gotcha

  12. Chowderhead December 25, 2013 at 6:55 AM #

    Nuns with big guns was so so. Well, meh, a little less than so so. And the rest of ‘em sucked!

  13. David Stewart December 26, 2013 at 7:32 AM #

    Wow, where did you find these? They seem to be in the category of so-bad-they’re-awesome. Rubber, especially, I’m going to have to watch with my friends sometime.

    • Christopher De Voss December 26, 2013 at 7:45 AM #

      Rubber is so very strange…it’s not as straight forward of a movie as it sounds.

      • David Stewart December 26, 2013 at 8:39 AM #

        And that’s saying something, I’m sure. It seems like the kind of movie best watched with a bunch of guys.

      • Christopher De Voss December 26, 2013 at 8:55 AM #

        It is…as long as they have a sense of humor….

      • David Stewart December 26, 2013 at 9:23 AM #

        You gotta pick the right group, that’s for sure. This seems like a really good guy movie though. The last really “guy” movie I saw was Machete. It’s the kind of thing girls don’t really get, at least the ones I know.

      • Christopher De Voss December 26, 2013 at 9:24 AM #

        Machete was awesome!

  14. The Hook December 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM #

    Best. Christmas. Post. EVER!

  15. rayworth1973 December 28, 2013 at 1:45 PM #

    Great stuff! I fucking hate holiday movies. These slap them in the face.

  16. andreveloz December 29, 2013 at 10:45 PM #

    Definitively a breath of fresh air… I cannot take another holiday themed movie or song!

    • Christopher De Voss December 29, 2013 at 10:52 PM #

      Exactly, and it’s not like we haven’t seen them a hundred times.

      • andreveloz December 30, 2013 at 12:10 AM #

        Talking about twisted/cool movie trailers, here is a weird one for you, is the personal story of Destro the leading GI Joe’s rival. Enjoy

      • Christopher De Voss December 30, 2013 at 11:41 AM #

        Cool!

  17. silkpurseproductions January 9, 2014 at 9:25 AM #

    There is a whole treasure of movies out there I had no idea existed. Too bad I didn’t see this before the Holidays. Well, I will be prepared for next year.

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