As Christmas is over and wrapping paper and scattered toys are littered all over the floor, I turn on Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 to induce TV comas upon the children. This allows me to quietly reflect on this Christmas 2012:
1) I realize that I did not plan for any dinner on Christmas and with the stores being closed my choices are: 1) Chinese a la A Christmas Story or B) International House of Pancakes. IHOP wins as it does every year, for I forget about dinner every year.
2) No matter how much you clean up those little ties that bind the toys in their cardboard packaging, you will eventually step on a stray one with your bare feet.
3) The best, most expensive Christmas gift you bestowed upon your children ends up not being their favorite.
4) Looking at the tree, now bare of presents and half leaning on it’s side from when the dog ran into it, while running from the children’s screams of delight, all I can think is: Damn, un-decorating it is worse than decorating it.
5) I wonder if Hanukkah is cheaper to celebrate…
6) Is a law that at least two Christmas ball ornaments must break a year, one by shattering and one by the top wire part coming loose?
7) Pumpkin explodes as a taste sensation at Halloween, yet Eggnog and Fruitcake have such mixed reviews during Christmas…
8) I really need to invent a retractable Christmas light system for houses, where with a press of the switch they flip back into the house for concealment until next year.
9) Any board game purchased will have at least two pieces missing by the end of the day.
10) Grandma and/or Grandpa get more inappropriate with each passing year.
Goodbye Christmas 2012, considering you were never suppose to happen in the first place. I guess it’s good I went ahead and spent money on my loved ones and didn’t bet on the Mayans. Imagine explaining to the children why Santa never came due to the impending Apocalypse which never came to be…