So whenever someone asks me about Twitter, which is my favorite social media site, I explain how it works, and I suggest a list of people to follow to get the ball rolling. One of those people always on the list is @moooooog35…if I think you can handle the humor (or if you’re British, humour).
And by handle the humor, I mean:
A) You like to laugh. A lot.
B) You don’t get easily offended.
One problem with giving out my ultimate Twitter follow list is that it’s full of names like moooooo35, douche mcbag, chicken dick, and glittertits.
Trust me, it’s worth the embarrassment of searching for a name like “glittertits.”
Well, if you have a sense of humor, that is.
But enough about glittertits…I don’t even know if glittertits has written a book, so we need to concentrate on moooooog35…who did write a book.
And a damn funny one.
Now for the sake of my sanity when having to count six o’s when writing moooooog35, let’s call him by his real name, Rodney Lacroix…which is the same name listed on the book…so it works out really, really, really well.
In the midst of receiving an advanced copy of the book, (yeah that’s right people, I said “advanced.” I’m feeling really cool and hip right now. I read the book first…well, I’m sure after his publisher…and Rodney’s kids…his ex-wife, current girlfriend, the neighbors, his parents, a few cousins, his dentist, the mailman, the really nice grocery store clerk who should have retired in 1973 yet is still working…why is he still working? Just retire already, dude! The grocery store will run without you! The bananas will still get stocked!)
Anyway, in the midst of receiving an ADVANCED copy of the book, I had my own blog’s schedule to complete that week…which I was behind on, an article due for TMRZoo.com, a book I was involved in coming out, plus trying to invent a humorous card game with David Harding, and the Toddler asking me to make her chocolate milk and popcorn every five seconds while I was trying to write…
I know. I’m a busy guy.
I had this book to read…
That I couldn’t put down!
The book made me late on all those other projects, and it was well worth it, like being late to your kid’s kindergarten graduation because you had to look at one more 3 minute clip of midget lesbian porn. By the way, I love how cute they look in those little shiny leather/plastic/pleather dominatrix outfits they wear.
Now I’m friends with Rodney on Facebook, and he seems a rather fit, dapper, strapping man, (Did I just gay out there for a second? Noooooo! They call it bromancing now-a-days.) yet chapter one starts with a rather fat child who accidentally craps his pants after eating too much ex-lax before his first bicycle date. Rodney adds his own artwork and pictures throughout the book, which helps illustrate the skateboarding mishaps, the toboggan mishaps, and the Frankenstein mask story, but luckily he spares us the graphics on the bicycle poop story.
I know 3% of you sickos would not consider that lucky.
If you are a parent and need an excuse to buy this book, then the chapters on parenting are worth the price. I don’t know the price of the book, because remember yours truly got an ADVANCED copy, but even if it’s a hundred thousand dollars, go get a loan. Rodney hits it right on the head when it comes to child rearing, which is: it sucks unless you can mess with the little one’s heads a bit. My oldest daughter once complained that the AM station which was home to Radio Disney never came in very well and that I should fix it. I told her that we had to pay for AM stations, and since I didn’t have a CD player on the dashboard, I had nowhere to put the money in to pay.
To this day she has never let me forget it. I also told her once that raisins give you super powers….
I can never look at raisins the same again. In that last pack of Sun Maid raisins, I hope I didn’t actually eat my grandma, she was very fond of baths. After you read the book, this will be funnier.
More incentive to read it, in case laughing like a loon wasn’t enough, there are sections on dating, vasectomies, match.com, draw something game, Axe body spray, the local adult store, sex dice and manscaping. Each section has one liner bits of wisdom and funny pictures sprinkled throughout, creating a really fun experience.
Here is the bottom line: This is one of those books that you could read all in one sitting, or pick up and put down at your whim. You can read it from chapter to chapter, or skip around. You can reread your favorite parts over and over. The book is hilarious and honest.
The only way you wouldn’t enjoy this book is if you don’t like to laugh…or can’t read…or if you accidentally dropped the book in molten lava because you told your kids to stay away from the molten lava and they didn’t listen, and you dropped your book while grabbing the shirt collar of the 10-year-old about to step off the cliff into a big pit of molten lava, because they couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to where they were going or your verbal warnings….
Then, yeah, you may not enjoy the book. But then again, if I were you…I wouldn’t live anywhere near molten lava, so I guess you live and learn, right?
Ways to get more Rodney:Twitter: @moooooog35 Blog: http://www.midgetmanofsteel.com/
*jazz hands*You can order the book in Hardcover and Kindle formats from:
Kindle Barnes & Noble