I lost my sense of humor today.
I was going to look for it, but I lost my motivation as well.
What’s the point anyway? I lost my sense of direction years ago.
So I’m just going to lay here in bed, probably needing to desperately take a shower. I don’t know if I stink or not…since I lost my sense of smell in the war.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was fighting the war, when I stopped to tie my shoelace. I put down my rifle , my bowing knife, my canteen of water, a package of bubble gum, my collection Nat King Cole 45s, my goldfish, and my sense of smell. Suddenly the bombs started going off over my head! I quickly grabbed everything, or so I thought, and ran. Later, back at camp, I would realize I left my sense of smell behind, lost forever on the battlefield. Hopefully, someone picked it up and is making good use of it. I would hate for it to go to waste, forever lost.
Sigh.
Back to present day though. I really need to start keeping better track of these things.
The other day I almost…ALMOST…lost myself. Wow! Talk about stupid. How dumb do you have to be in order to lose your whole self? I won’t bored you with details, but it involved the state of Wyoming, some bad directions to the library, and a penguin named Albert who loves a movie called Fried Green Tomatoes. I almost lost my will to live that day too, but I don’t want you to think I’m a total idiot.
I know. Too late.
Sigh again.
Crap!
I guess I should look for my sense of humor. I don’t want it out there, wandering the earth, bugging people for Peanut M&M’s and pocket change for the strip clubs.
The only problem is, as I swing these tired legs out of bed…I’ve come to realize, I’ve lost my socks.
Life socks..
And then you lose one…
You could find it easily at your nearest public school. They always can use a few extra hands and hilarity abounds. Feel betta.
Public School? Scary!
damn. today it is.
If your sense of humor shows up here for my M&M stash, I’ll call you so you know where to find it.
You’re the best!
I wish I had the power to turn on and off my sense of smell. That ability would come in handy when I visit my teenage son’s room…
True! I have those too! I understand.
You’re still funnier than me when you think you lost you sense of humor. Peanut M&M’s are a priority. I’m with you on that!
We will share a bag of Peanut M&Ms one day.
I look forward to it!
I have your sense of smell, Christopher. I tried selling it on ebay, but it got sent back because the buyer, NoNose82, said it didn’t work. My dog buried it in the back yard, but I can track it down if you really want it back. It is pretty scratched up, though.
That would be awesome…however if it’s already been picked clean, I don’t want it. Give it to a charity.
Oh, good idea! I can write it off on my taxes. The monetary equivalent for a used sense of smell is around $30-35, I think.
Thanks, man!
Sorry to hear that have you looked down the back of the sofa?
Crap! No! Good idea!
At least you still have your dignity. I’ve lost mine ages ago
Sorry. You can get a new one at Goodwill for dirt cheap.
Dirt cheap dignity. Sounds about right
This is so typical of old geezers – going on and on and ON about what happened to them in the war like they are so special. Shut up already. Boo hoo you can’t smell or laugh or keep your feet warm anymore, go tell someone who cares like your nurse or grankids.
I’ll be saying this to the both of you, soon enough. Both of bitching in my ear about old people stuff and I’ll be like, “Whatever, old dudes, I’m going to the mall” and David Harding will be like, “YOU’RE GOING TO THE TOWN HALL?” and I’ll roll my eyes and wish I didn’t join your old man humor commune.
You’re going to a ball? Do you even have a gown yet?
TO THE MALL! ::mumbles and shakes head::
On Tuesdays it’s corn night.
War? Do you say war? Someone fetch me my gun, and my bag of Twizzlers, and my bubble gum!
What? Your bubble gun? What kind of a dang fool war is this?
Also, funny post.
High praise, my lady!
I was going to sell your humor on the black market, but decided it was better to just give it back to you. ‘Tis the season, or some shit like that.
Ho, ho, ho! Whatever!
Do you know what Santa drinks hen he’s thirsty? H2o! H2o! H2o!
It’s that kind of smart humour that makes me loved and adored.
Don’t forget to tip the wait staff, folks!
I think I found one of them in my damn dryer – mauve argyle, right? Send me an address and I’ll mail it to you. Please remit one of mine to the return address. Thanks for the laugh.
Thanks for finding my sock and reading!
As long as you don’t lose your hair. That stuff is impossible to get back – just ask the Rogaine guys!